For the longest time, I thought the path to happiness (and love) was paved with promotions, hustle, and a kind of impenetrable independence. I had to be this uninterested, yet enthusiastic, but very serious go-getter woman who didn’t need a man. Because that was “cool”.

In reality though, I yearned for a loving partner, I dreamed of having a family. A little mini me running around the kitchen with me while we baked, made a mess, cleaned up and waited for daddy to come home and read bedtime stories. Somehow along the way though, the world that favored the girlboss narrative convinced me that desiring a partner and love was weak, needy and ultimately would scare a man away.

While the hustle was fun and had rewarding moments, at the end of the week it felt lonely. At the end it was me alone, me making dinner for me, me ruminating with my thoughts. The thing that most people in relationships don’t remember is that the nights get lonelier the more of them you have.

What matters more is that trying to pretend these things didn’t matter to me, trying to not try so hard turned off a light within me. It sliced my whole being into fragmented pieces that did not make sense to those who met me and created a great disconnect from who I truly was and actually am. I was fragmented pieces of myself and so I felt incomplete.

A Quiet Urgency

People often talk about a single, huge AHA moment that changed everything. For me, it wasn’t like that. It wasn’t a lightning strike, but a slow, creeping dawn. It was the quiet realization that came as I got closer to 35 and further away from 30; when your gynecologist gently recommends a fertility expert for egg freezing, when all your friends are having babies, and you realize you aren’t there yet. And through it all, a deep knowing that I did not, and still don’t want to rush it. This quiet urgency sparked a mission. Suddenly, my health wasn’t just an abstract concept; it was about my future, my fertility. It became about learning how to truly nourish my body, care for my hormones, and do everything I could to keep my ovaries young and healthy for a family that isn’t here yet, but that I hope for deeply. This was the first, most crucial step: softening back into my own body. After living so disconnected for years, I, like most women, had normalized pain and PMS, symptoms I’m here to tell you are not normal. They are warning signs, invitations from your body to offer it more love, nurturing, and attention, and to finally honor its innate cyclical rhythm.

The Journey Back to Softness

Once I started listening to my body, I had to confront the persona I’d built: the go-getter who could do it all alone. And sure, we all can, but the secret is we don’t have to. The next layer was softening into interdependence. We hear a lot online about “leaning into our feminine,” which can feel abstract. For me, it simply meant giving myself permission to be soft. I allowed myself to be messy, to laugh louder, to cry a little harder, and most importantly, listen to my body’s rhythm.

This newfound softness didn’t just change how I related to my body and others; it changed how I related to my time. The final, most joyful piece was softening into hobbies over achievement. I rediscovered a deep love for the arts and for using my hands to create, not for a side hustle, but for the simple joy of it. I found purpose in cooking nourishing meals for my partner, seeing it as a beautiful act of care. I found peace in painting watercolor bookmarks for the people I love and knitting imperfect baby blankets (even though none has been delivered yet).

And in that process, I realized the ultimate truth. By learning to soften and serve my own needs, I was finally equipped to truly be there for others. This is the entire purpose of Trad Girlie. It’s my belief that when we nurture ourselves, when we listen to our bodies, lean on our people, and make space for simple joys, we create abundance of love to pour into the world. As Wayne Dyer said, “Serve the needs of others, and all your own needs will be fulfilled.” This is me, serving, so that we can all find our way back to softness, together.

This journey of finding my way back to softness is what led me to define the kind of woman I was becoming.

So, what is a ‘Trad Girlie’?

I would like to say I coined this, but probably didn’t, yet this is my definition for it and it can be yours too.

Let’s start off with the fact that I am not a trad wife. I am not married, I do not live on a homestead and I value my career and would love to build a business around something I love. A Trad Girlie is simply a woman in her 20s or 30s who isn’t married yet, but shares the same values as a trad wife. It’s the deep desire to build a home and be a homemaker, honor and respect their partner (or deep intention to do so when she finds the right person), a celebration of the feminine over modern feminism, to create from scratch in the kitchen, and ultimately create a home that is a refuge from the outside world.

My version of a Trad Girlie looks like sitting at the kitchen table jotting down notes from my latest read about herbal remedies for headaches while baking sourdough banana muffins and later enjoying them while knitting on the couch in the evenings while my partner works at his desk and finally falling asleep to a cozy fall read or a murder mystery. It is also waking at 5 am to brew the first pot of coffee, opening the shades and letting the natural light in and reading my daily prayer book and then dive into the day.

Ultimately, it’s home life first, career second. It’s finding love first, climbing the corporate ladder second. It’s allowing myself to put my true desires and dreams first and above any worldly expectations for women in modern times. I don’t mind being called old school or non feminist. I want to first and foremost celebrate the woman that I am, and that can only happen when I do the things I love unapologetically and for me.

These are the topics my Kitchen Table notes will cover:

• Real Talk: Honest conversations about navigating the desire for a traditional life while being a modern, working woman.

• Fertility-Friendly Habits: Practical rituals and evidence-based hormone intel to help you understand and work with your body. This is the core of my focus right now in my own life, and I’ll be sharing everything I learn on my journey to preserve and protect my fertility in my mid-30s.

• Crunchy Back-to-Basics Skills: Simple recipes, sourdough guides, knitting projects, and other homemaking arts for the modern girlie.

• Cycle-Synced Tools: Tips and frameworks for aligning your life, from your work to your workouts, with your natural cycle.

This is for you if you…

• you feel caught between your ambition and a deep desire to be soft.

• you believe that true, lasting health is built the old-fashioned way: starting in your own kitchen.

• you are in your 30s (or beyond), navigating a new relationship or single life, and you feel the biological clock ticking, but you want to approach your fertility with peace and proactive nourishment, not panic.

• you understand that true strength lies not in never needing help, but in the grace of giving and receiving care.

• you crave tangible, creative outlets that don’t involve a screen

• you are ready to unapologetically embrace your ‘granny’ hobbies—and you suspect they’re not so granny after all.

• you feel like you’re walking the path between traditional values and a modern career, and are looking for a community that ‘gets it’.

If this resonates, I’d be so honored if you’d subscribe. We’re just getting started.

So, pull up a chair. I’d love to know in the comments: What’s one ‘traditional’ skill or value you feel drawn to right now?”

And if you know another not-quite-trad-wife, still-works girlie who might like this, feel free to share it with her.

With love,

Silvana

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